This scene resonated with me when I first saw it, and its effect has not dulled one bit. When your job is to work on the behalf of others, you don't get to stop being your best self. You have to show up. Others are counting on you to be fully you, precisely because you have positioned yourself to be their person - their advocate and mentor.
Today, one of my mentors uncovered my complacency. Most people would never think of me as being complacent because I am almost always working on multiple projects for multiple organizations. All of this noble busyness for others, masks my failure to take care of me. While I often say that taking good care of one's self is a public service, I do not always mirror that mantra.
This mentor made me take a good look at my fear-based and exhaustion-based decision making of late. He spoke to me with the intensity of Abby and put me back in my lane of possibilities. I had been sitting on the sidelines of my own life. Shame on me.
In my tiredness, I am beginning to get back on track. I ask all of my 1st year students to share what they do not want to regret when they graduate. Now, I am asking myself that same question. I do not want to waste my talents. I do not want to say, "I should have done ______" So, as I lay some groundwork this year, I hope to share good news in a few months about what I am doing.
The video below is a bit extreme, but to an extent, it accurately expresses my resolve about all the obligations I have accepted.
Nothing in the mug tonight.
Here, I share new discoveries and thoughts about things I love. Ride along with me. Comments are welcomed and appreciated.
Tea Houses I Love